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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wheelchair Deaths

Wheelchair Deaths:

Okay, so I couldn't stop thinking about this because I watched His Name Was Jason:30 years of Friday The 13th. They had a little talk about the wheelchair death in the 2nd Friday the 13th, which I always found hilarious because that character was totally screwed from the very beginning. You have this character working at a camp, but he's in a wheelchair. what's he going to do take the kids hiking, maybe give them a few swimming lessons, well I guess he could sing campire songs while playing a guitar..if he can play the guitar. Maybe he was there to give them a life lesson about what you don't do, so you don't end up in a wheelchair. I know, I know. Aleata quit picking on the handicapped teenager, but seriously who hired him? Was Jason accepting the applications because I know he wouldn't have cared that much. Maybe Jason is actually a genius and has been secretly luring the teens there. Muaha.




The Handicapped kid takes a spill down a flight of stairs, courtsey of his best bud Jason.

Now the thing about the Friday the 13th 2 wheelchair death is that Jason, in fact, is a retarded mongoloid. So it literally evens it out a bit. But the death is so brutal that you kind of forget all that and say "WHAT THE FUCK"! Not only does he slice a machete through the handicapped kids face, but then proceeds to fall backwards down a huge flight of stairs. I laugh like a hyena when this happens.






Now as you know there's also a Nightmare On Elmstreet with a wheelchair death, it's number 3 Dream warriors. Now what seems more fair about the "Wizard Masters" death is he is in dreamland and can walk for a minute until of course Freddy cripples him. The thing about Freddy is that he's pure evil, there's no convincing, tricking, or stopping him. So if your an Elm Street kid your basically screwed from the beginning, I think he let's them contain some power for awhile just to fuck with them. The fact that this kid obviously plays to much dungeon and dragons makes me want him to die. At least the kid being in a wheelchair makes more sense the kid in Friday number 2. Alright he's some kid who lives on Elm Street and he's in a wheelchair BAM we comprehend it.







The wheelchair wizard attacks Freddy with his D&D powers before he is ultimately annihilated.

If we can say anything about these two psychotic murderers, it's that they don't discriminate! They wil kill gimps, children, animals, senile old men. And I find it all pretty damn funny! What would we do without these deaths? Haha. Anyways what's everyone's favorite cruel death in a horror movie? Let's hear some good ones!

Oh and here's something that is completely off topic. HAPPY EARTH DAY!

4 comments:

  1. Awesome. What about Chainsaw Masacre? Not a wheelchair death but still doomed nonetheless.

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  2. Oh my gosh I totally forgot about that guy! Haha, positively doomed!

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  3. Franklin does get chainsawed by Leatherface in his wheelchair...I laugh when he rolls down the hill .. I always thought Friday the 13th 2 was homaging that scene...

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